Stupid Tim Clark

If there’s one thing I learned from Lethal Weapon 2, it’s don’t trust South Africans. Stupid Tim Clark and his stupid great golf playing means the great (read: rusty) Tiger Woods won’t get to see round three of the Accenture Match Play Tournament. This also means that millions upon trillions of people won’t get to watch him play this weekend. Here’s a quick rundown of what happens using pictures from the tournament:


Tiger says, “WTF, man? I hate South Africans more than Mel Gibson hates Jews and South Africans!”


Meanwhile Tim Clark and his flamboyant self says with a lisp, “Tiger, the green’s this way thsilly pantths. Let’s win this one for Zimbabwe boyths!”

And the golf course just says this: “Fuck you Tiger!” You know when the cacti are flipping you off you’re having a bad day…


And there you have it, the rundown of the second round of the Accenture Match Play Tournament. Was it good for you?


Tiger’s Back!

I was talking with my friend Andy the other day on who our favorite golfers are. I stupidly said that J.B. Holmes is my favorite, Webb Simpson is my second, and Tiger is my third. The next day I said that saying Webb Simpson was my second favorite was stupid, and moved Tiger into the second spot. But why the hell do I like J.B. Holmes the most!?

Buick Invitational Golf

J.B. has won only two tournaments, both being the FBR Open. He was on the Ryder Cup team that won last year, which was very entertaining. He misses cuts every few tournaments and only makes a mil or two a year in earnings. The guy is good, but shouldn’t even be mentioned in the same breath as Tiger.


Tiger has won slightly more.

I guess I’m a freaking idiot because I like rooting for the underdog. Saying Tiger is your favorite player is so lame, because he’s everybody’s favorite player. In saying that, I can’t help but say that Tiger is by far the most entertaining player to watch. I’ve read at least 10 articles about him in the past two days that all basically say the same thing. He’s so freaking interesting.

The Accenture Match Play Tournament has just started, and I’m listening to it live at work. Who does that!? Tiger’s already one up after the first hole on his latest victim, and just got an eagle on two, so he is three up through two holes. It’s over!

I guess the point of this post is to say that Tiger is far and away the most exciting player in golf. In saying that, I still hate following the beaten path and will not place him as my favorite golfer. I’ll keep J.B. Holmes up there, just because. Plus, J.B. pulls hotter chicks…