Oregon/Auburn Bowl Championship pre-enactment by Arnold The French Bulldog!

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T.O. is a Saint!

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Recently, a bunch of sports writers and bloggers came down on T.O. for not showing up for voluntary offseason conditioning with the Bills. Turns out the reason why he was gone was because he was accepting an award in Washington, D.C., attending the sixth annual National Alzheimer’s Gala. He’ll receive the Alzheimer’s Association’s first Young Champions Award on Wednesday night for raising awareness in the fight against the disease. Owens’ grandmother has Alzheimer’s.

I’m really tired of people lambasting, that’s right, I said lambasting, T.O. without researching anything that might absolve him of wrongdoing. The guy has been helping Alzheimer’s research for years, and nobody seems to care.

Also, the Bill’s strength and conditioning coach talked with T.O. about his workouts and they are on the same page. He said T.O. is one of the most fit guys in the league, and doesn’t even need to attend the workouts.

So learn the damn facts sports writers! T.O. is a goddamn saint!

G.I. Joe: The Movie, starring the Dallas Cowboys

After reading Ed Werder’s brilliant column about the Cowboy’s dysfunctionality, I figured Hollywood would be interested in making a movie out of it. Then, after hearing the terrible buzz surrounding the new G.I. Joe movie, I figured they could cast some high profile Cowboys into the film. Not only would this save the producers a lot of money, but it would also help the Cowboys act out some of their feelings in a constructive manner.  This is my personal opinion on who should play which character, but really it is all up to the casting director. Without further ado, bear witness to my shitty Photoshop skills…

Tony Romo as “General Hawk”, the fearless leader:

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Jason Witten as “Duke”, the strong willed rebel:

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Terrell Owens as “Snake Eyes”, the relentless antagonist:

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…and featuring Ed Werder as “Heavy Duty”, the gun slinging reporter who uses anonymous sources to make a name for himself as an investigatory journalist, no matter how many friends you lose or people you leave dead and bloodied and dying along the way? 

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Welp, there are my casting ideas. If this is greenlit, I want 10% of the gross and T.O.’s autograph.

Old NFL Ad

Thanks to Deadspin and Kissing Suzy Kolber for this Youtube clip of an old NFL ad. Not only does it feature the taboo of smoking on television, but also a politically incorrect indian (or is that Native American?). Either way, the promo clip is hilarious.

Gym Time!

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^^This was me one year ago^^

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^^This is me now^^

That is why I have recently purchased a gym membership to 24 hour fitness. This will give me the motivation to pay an extra bill every month for something I’ll probably barely use. At least I’m not deluding myself into thinking I’ll become addicted to the gym again.

But seriously, I am going to start going to the gym at least a couple of times a week. When I’m not at the gym I’ll be working out at my apartment with my roommate, Steve. We have plenty of things to help build our physiques. One thing is a deflated exercise ball. Another is my new dartboard. And probably the most important is the football, with which we run numerous plays inside our apartment. By using the recliner as a defender and as Steve implements the shotgun snap count next to the TV, I will be able to run routes that many players wouldn’t even be able to run on the football field. It’s a great way to burn some calories before the pizza guy comes.

I’ll keep you posted on my workout regiment, because I’m sure it will be comically sad.

T.O.’s Big Day Out

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T.O., the greatest receiver to ever live, is having the best game of his life right now. He finished with 173 yards and 4 touchdowns. This beats his old record of 3 touchdowns in one game. It also gives him 126 career touchdowns, now 3rd all time among receivers.  It’s great to see two legendary receivers, Randy Moss and Terrell Owens, having the best season of both their careers. In 10 games T.O. has 1028 yard and 12 touchdowns. He and Randy Moss have a possibility of beating Jerry Rice’s touchdown record of 22. The next 6 games should be very entertaining. Go Cowboys!

New Blahg

So, I’m finally jumping on the blogwagon. It is titled feigningenius, mainly because I couldn’t think of something intelligent to put as the title, so instead I decided to put something up that opitomizes most bloggers: pseudo-intellectual. Although I do not take myself out of this category, I do feel that my blog posts will have some redeeming qualities for anyone interested in movies, music, advertising, and sports. With that being said, I hope the 4 people that read this on an irregular basis get some sort of enjoyment out of it.

A man who has similar football mechanics as yours truly.