G.I. Joe: The Movie, starring the Dallas Cowboys

After reading Ed Werder’s brilliant column about the Cowboy’s dysfunctionality, I figured Hollywood would be interested in making a movie out of it. Then, after hearing the terrible buzz surrounding the new G.I. Joe movie, I figured they could cast some high profile Cowboys into the film. Not only would this save the producers a lot of money, but it would also help the Cowboys act out some of their feelings in a constructive manner.  This is my personal opinion on who should play which character, but really it is all up to the casting director. Without further ado, bear witness to my shitty Photoshop skills…

Tony Romo as “General Hawk”, the fearless leader:

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Jason Witten as “Duke”, the strong willed rebel:

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Terrell Owens as “Snake Eyes”, the relentless antagonist:

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…and featuring Ed Werder as “Heavy Duty”, the gun slinging reporter who uses anonymous sources to make a name for himself as an investigatory journalist, no matter how many friends you lose or people you leave dead and bloodied and dying along the way? 

heavy-werder

 

Welp, there are my casting ideas. If this is greenlit, I want 10% of the gross and T.O.’s autograph.

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“Boys Will Be Boys” Review

Boys Will Be Boys is a very interesting look at the Cowboys who won three Super Bowls in the early ’90s, despite their complete lack of discipline and self restraint. Pearlman wisely follows the stories of Charles Haley and Michael Irvin, showing how being dysfunctional in life doesn’t necessarily translate into dysfunctionality on the field. The Cowboys played with a kind of bravado that only America’s Team could play with, and they won a hell of a lot of games.

The best thing about this book are the insane stories about the Cowboys. There is the story of Michael Irvin stabbing a teammate with a pair of barber scissors. Another story is about a few teammates buying a house in a suburban neighborhood called the “White House”, used to do drugs and have sex with women. The stories go on and on, and they are always interesting.

Pearlman did a great job researching this book, and doesn’t let anyone off the hook. He goes into great detail on Jerry Jones and Jimmy Johnson’s good and bad sides. He doesn’t pull any punches but also doesn’t take any cheap shots, unlike the despicable journalist known as Skip Bayless.

I highly recommend reading this book if you are a football fan. It shows how a team can still compete while having a myriad of problems. The entire book is fascinating and draws a surprising amount of parallels with the Cowboys of 2008.

Photo Bucket Shuffle

In honor of Steve’s post, I decided to do the same thing on Phot Bucket and see what happens. You type in the answer to a question in Photo Bucket and find the appropriate picture.

1. What’s your first name?

Cody

2. What’s your favorite thing to do?

Watch sports

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3. Who is one of your favorite band’s lead singers

Hayley Williams, 18, Paramore

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4. What is your relationship status?

Don’t worry about it.

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5. What’s your favorite color?

Green

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6. Who is your celebrity crush?

Rachel Bilson

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7. What band are you listening to right now?

UGK

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8. What’s your favorite movie?

Big Trouble In Little China

9. What is your favorite time of the year?

Superbowl Sunday

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10. Name your favorite beverage:

Diet Pepsi

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11. Where is your dream vacation?

Delaware

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12. What is your favorite dessert?

Creme Brule

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13. What do you want to do when you grow up?

Live in a van down by the river.

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14. What do you love most in life?

Terrell Owens

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15. One word to describe yourself?

Sensational

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16. Favorite animal?

I like turtles

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17. What is your favorite number?

41

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18. Favorite kind of food?

Chicken

19. Who is your favorite sports team?

Dallas Cowboys

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20.  What quote best describes your mood right now?

I was born ready

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