G.I. Joe: The Movie, starring the Dallas Cowboys

After reading Ed Werder’s brilliant column about the Cowboy’s dysfunctionality, I figured Hollywood would be interested in making a movie out of it. Then, after hearing the terrible buzz surrounding the new G.I. Joe movie, I figured they could cast some high profile Cowboys into the film. Not only would this save the producers a lot of money, but it would also help the Cowboys act out some of their feelings in a constructive manner.  This is my personal opinion on who should play which character, but really it is all up to the casting director. Without further ado, bear witness to my shitty Photoshop skills…

Tony Romo as “General Hawk”, the fearless leader:

romohawk

 

Jason Witten as “Duke”, the strong willed rebel:

wittenduke

Terrell Owens as “Snake Eyes”, the relentless antagonist:

tosnakeeyes1

…and featuring Ed Werder as “Heavy Duty”, the gun slinging reporter who uses anonymous sources to make a name for himself as an investigatory journalist, no matter how many friends you lose or people you leave dead and bloodied and dying along the way? 

heavy-werder

 

Welp, there are my casting ideas. If this is greenlit, I want 10% of the gross and T.O.’s autograph.

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