Oregon/Auburn Bowl Championship pre-enactment by Arnold The French Bulldog!

50 Cent- Before I Self Destruct review, 7.5/10

The Invasion: 6.5/10 Your standard intro track. 50 comes out energetic but without a lot of interesting rhymes it doesn’t really resonate with me. 

Then Days Went By: 9.5/10 Great song. Lyrics are a lot more memorable, the funniest being about being 12 and having sex with a 20 year old. He doesn’t care that it’s technically rape, because it was so cool. Not gonna lie. That’s the exact same interpretation I’d have if I hooked up with a 20 year old. The beat is great too. The organ and background vocals are perfect.

Death To My Enemies: 9/10 This is a Dre beat, and it definitely shows it. 50 goes hard, claiming that this CD isn’t “Tha Carter”. Anything anti-Wayne I’m all for, because he’s played out. There isn’t a whole lot to this track, but it’s great for what it is.

So Disrespectful: 7/10 Ah 50 and your fightin’ ways. This is his anti-Game/Young Buck track among others… It’s not bad, but I actually like Piggy Bank off Tha Massacre more for some reason (wow, I never thought I’d say that).  Woulda given this an 8 if it wasn’t  referencing Young Buck doing more syrup than Pimp C. This is because Pimp C had more talent in his pinkie than 50 Cent has in his entire body.

Psycho: 9/10 50 changes up his flow on this track, which makes you wonder if Em wrote his verses. Both go hard on the track, and Em especially shines (what’s new?). Anytime you mention beating the Octomom with a Cabbage Patch kid you have my vote. Way to go Em. Topical and funny.

Hold Me Down: 4/10 Someone tell Scott Storch to stop doing coke. This beat is strangely bad, and really shows how far Scott Storch has fallen off. 50 Cent’s raps are tired and pointless. So far, it’s the worst song on the album. He must have put this on the album to do Scott Storch a favor. Trust me, he did not do him any favors by allowing millions to hear this track.

Crime Wave: 6.5/10 Another swagger track about guns, how itchy trigger fingers are and how much bullets burn. I don’t discount 50 Cents credibility on the knowledge of how getting shot feels, but I don’t need to hear about it a bunch of times. When did it become cool to get shot a bunch of times? 

Stretch: 9/10 Sha Money XL’s beat is pretty good. Song about selling drugs, but it’s pretty interesting.  I don’t know why I like this track, but it’s strangely hypnotic. “Streeeetch”…”Kurt Cocaine.” I don’t know if it’s clever but I like it. Haha.

Strong Enough: 7/10 Soulful beat. More lyrics about guns and how hardcore he is. Transitions into how much money he has. Then he disses his old crew. It kinda goes all over the place, but the lyrics are better and work well with the beat. 

Get It Hot: 5/10 Not really feeling this track. The beat by Nottz is kinda cool, but it doesn’t work all that great with 50. It clocks in at 2:59 and it feels long. That’s not a good sign. Nottz gonna listen to this song again…

Gangsta’s Delight: 9.5/10 Haha, this song is great. Remix the lyrics from Rapper’s Delight with a Dre beat. 50 has got some balls to redo a classic like this. Somehow, it works. The beat is grimey. I love the piano in the background.  The lyrics work. 50′s flow is perfect. So far, my favorite song on the album.

I Got Swag: 5/10 Did you know 50 Cent has a lot of money, as well as swagger? Me neither! Thank God he cleared it up on this track. Throwaway.

Baby By Me: 8.5/10 Ok, I get it. That’s kinda clever: “Have a baby by me baby, be a millionaire” Throw a Ne-Yo hook on it, and it’s a hit, right? Sorta. It’s overproduced by Polow da Don, but overall I think girls will like it. It’s likable for a chick track. After 12 songs about shooting people and selling drugs, it’s a nice break. 

Do You Think About Me: 7/10 Another girl track but it’s more laid back. It’s not as catchy, but not terrible. I feel like they should have put it somewhere else on the CD to break up the two softer songs.

Ok, You’re Right: 7/10 The only previously released song that actually made the CD. It’s pretty good, but I don’t really like the chorus that much. I actually liked the song “Get Up” more, and am kinda surprised it didn’t make the CD. 

Could’ve Been You: 7/10 Weird song but it flows well. R. Kelly is singing about smelling shit. 50 Cent does alright on the track, but it’s strange to have as a closing song. 

Overall: 7.5/10 (Don’t know if my math worked out on that at all) 

Final impression is that it’s better than Curtis, but the subject matter was too focused on guns and drugs. There were too many generic songs that had no clear message. Half of them were just excuses to rap about killing people with a different chorus for each song. If he would have taken a few of those tracks off and had a few tracks that told a story or had different subject matter, the CD would have been great.

Hipsters love “Where The Wild Things Are”…

Hipsters are going to show up in droves to see this movie, because their messiah, Spike Jonze, directed it while listening to Arcade Fire for three straight years. Portland, Oregon, which is already inundated with hipster culture, is going to have the hidden hipsters coming out of the woodwork to see this movie. They’ll have to cash in their PBR tall boy cans and ride their goofy bikes to the movie, so watch where you drive. If a hipster dies on his hipster bike, does he make a sound….and is that sound going to be rated high on Pitchfork Media? 

 

Here is proof that hipsters love WTWTA, and acronyms:

Jay-Z: The Blueprint 3 review, meh/10

What the hell happened to Jay-Z? He is disgracing the first The Blueprint cd hard. It’s like when The Blueprint 2 came out and people were like, “Oh…so that’s what we’re going to expect now. Time to lower the expectations”. 

I think Kanye and Timbaland gave Hova some advice to use more futuristic beats, and it just doesn’t work. Drake is featured on “Off That”, and although it is kinda catchy, the lyrics are pointless. The whole reason why The Blueprint worked so well was because of the introspective lyrics and soulful beats. The attempt at that is “A Star Is Born”, and the lyrics are good, but the beat detracts from the message of the song. This is just a lazy album.

Here’s what to expect. “Run This Town” is one of the better tracks on the album. Bad sign. Young Jeezy injects some much needed life in “Real As It Gets”, but Jay-Z’s verses are meh. “Venus Vs. Mars”, “Thank You” and “Hate” are very tedious and sound like they should have been offered as bonus tracks or left off all together.

I’m getting so tired of the current trend in rap. Ever since Lil’ Wayne got noticed by sorority girls and blew up rap has been in a funk. Hova’s attempt at getting it off of Autotune is pointless, because the direction he’s trying to take it in is a horrible lateral move that serves nobody.

Overall, this cd is a solid meh outta 10. Nothing really hits, and gives me the same feeling the first time I heard Curtis. Jay-Z has nothing left to say, so he really should just stop. I used to be a fan, but this cd is so mediocre it’s sad. 

 

Meh/10

UFC 100: Brock Lesnar Vs. Frank Mir

Brock Lesnar will be going up in a rematch with Frank Mir on Saturday, July 11th, for the title fight of UFC 100. This is the most anticipated fight of the year, and I can’t wait to see who wins. I’ve been following Brock’s career since he joined the WWF, even though I don’t even like wrestling. The guy has always intrigued me, because of his size and overall physical stature. Once he joined the MMA, I got even more interested in it. 

Frank Mir is a great opponent for Brock, because he is a more technical fighter who specializes in submission moves. He is very well versed in different take downs, and has the intellectual advantage in this match. He also beat Brock last year in Brock’s first UFC fight. Brock was murdering him before he got caught in a knee bar and had to tap out.
I want and I think Lesnar will win. He has the strength advantage and is a better fighter than when they fought last. Don’t count Mir out though, because this guy is a crafty fighter.  No matter who wins, the fight’ll be entertaining.

Tiger Woods Poops His Pants

Tiger Woods pooped his pants on 13, but that didn’t affect his play at the AT&T National golf tournament, where he shot 6 under in his first round.

Death By Stereo-”Death Is My Only Friend” 9/10

Death By Stereo, headed by their fearless leader, Efrem Schultz, have been one of my favorite bands for over 6 years. Their CDs are amazing, their live shows are insane, and they are a jolt of energy in an otherwise boring music industry.  They’ve never once sold out, and continue to tour, supporting bands that aren’t as technically proficient or as entertaining, but somehow have amassed more popularity. It’s sad, but also makes me glad that I am amongst the select few that hold this band in such a high regard.

Their latest CD, Death Is My Only Friend, is yet another worthy album to add to their already impressive catalog. It combines the old Death By Stereo hardcore from If Looks Could Kill, I’d Watch You Die, with the more melodic and better song writing from Death For Life. From the first song, “Opening Destruction”, they set the tone for the entire album. You get above average lyrics, combined with great instrumentation and vocals. Just about every track is great.

The only song I don’t care for is ”D.B.S.F.U.” mainly because the lyrics read like something written by an angst-riddled 16 year old. Other songs like “I Sing For You” and “Welcome to the Party” are great. I’ve already seen them perform “I Sing For You” live, and it’s a definite crowd pleaser.  

Each DBS CD seems like it has its own agenda. The first CD was just bat shit insane. The songs weren’t all that great, but parts of each song were ridiculous, so you forgave the overall mediocrity of some of the tracks.

Their second CD offers more musicianship, which ended up making the songs less entertaining. The CD was still very good, but something was missing.

Their third CD is my least favorite, mainly because it sounded a little too mainstream. I know they were dealing with a growing popularity, which might have made them skew their music towards a more generic outcome. It’s still a good CD, but isn’t up to their usual standards.

That all changed with their fourth CD. Not only is Death For Life my favorite DBS CD, but it’s one of my favorite CDs of all time. It is more metal than their previous records, but the production values and song writing are top notch.  

Death Is My Only Friend finds a happy medium between the first four CDs. It has the musicianship I’ve grown accustomed to, but doesn’t sacrifice the fun aspect of the band. All the elements combine for a truly memorable experience. It’s great to see that after a four year layoff, DBS is able to come out with such an impressive CD. 

 

9/10

Back Butt!!!

My Eyes! The Goggles, Zey Do Nothing!!

Hahaha! I saw this ghastly sight from my coworkers window. Evidently, this woman hit her tire on the curb and it popped, so now she is trying to change the tire. Her crack is 4 feet long, and is offensive on both a visual and emotional level. I can’t erase the memory, so I figured I’d share it with you. Enjoy.

Eminem-Relapse Review 9/10

Better than Encore. 

 

 

Isn’t that what you want to know? Eminem is always at his best when he has something worth talking about. Pills have given him a reason to rap, and he murders this whole album.  Sure, the voices get a little annoying, and some of his pop culture references are dated, but at its core, this is a truly fucked up album about addiction and mental instability.

It opens with a nightmare and never really comes out of it. You’ve all heard 3 a.m., which I think is amazing. Eminem has always been able to paint a picture in your mind, no matter how crazy that picture is.

  

Aside from We Made You, the rest of the album is really solid. Dr. Dre’s beats work much better with the song concepts than on Encore.  You don’t find gimmick songs like Ass Like That and Just Lose It on here, which is a welcomed change of pace.

The tone of the album is very similar to Marshall Mathers LP, which is a good thing. Same Song & Dance is a brilliant song about a guy who kidnaps a woman named Tonya, forcing her to dance for him and generally ruin her life. It’s vintage Eminem, putting himself into the mind of a serial killer and flowing over a dark Dre beat.

Eminem’s flow and lyrics are absolutely top notch. A line from Medicine Ball actually made me laugh out loud. In Deja Vu, he lays down his whole drug problem and the rationale behind it. It works perfectly with the beat and really makes you sit and soak in each lyric. Hell, the guy even sings on key in Beautiful, which is much better than his attempt to sing on Crazy In Love off Encore. 

It’s great to see Em back in top form. This CD is much much better than Encore, and up there with The Eminem Show. It doesn’t reach the level of Marshall Mathers LP, but what does? Here’s hoping Eminem doesn’t make us wait 5 more years for another album. He’s back.

 

9/10

Tiger Woods doing Tai Chi

Here is Tiger Woods, getting focused during his practice round on Wednesday, preparing for The Players Championship. He must have learned Tai Chi from the Swayze in Road House. Whatever helps you win, I guess. I’m more of a Yoga man myself.